Here they are. All 117 bobbleheads in one post.

The news that 117 people are running for Portland mayor and City Council shows you how ridiculous the whole charter change scene is. Yes, Portland needed to get away from having politicians run city bureaus on a daily operating basis, and yes, the City Council needed to be elected by districts. But the rest of the items in the charter revision happy meal were like something your cat hurled up. It's probably not going to end well. 

But hey, we all have to vote in less than two months, and if we want to minimize the damage, maybe we can vote for the sane adults (if there are any in the pack). 

The first thing to figure out is which district you're in for the City Council races. There are only four districts (a horrible decision) and three council members from each (an even more horrible decision). And here's the map:

District 1 is the Far East and out by the airport. District 2 (where I am) is most of inner northeast and all of north. District 3 is mostly inner southeast, but there's some northeast included. And District 4 is the whole west side plus a few hostage areas down around Sellwood and the Morelands.

That citywide map is pretty blurry. There are somewhat better ones here: For District 1; for District 2; for District 3; and for District 4. If you know which precinct you're in, those better maps will tell you what district you're in.

Once you've determined that, you can start to figure out which of the bobbleheads you'll be voting for. It's under the new "rank choice" voting system, the worst charter change of them all. But that's another whole can of worms to tackle sometime between now and completing your ballot. In the meantime, keep in mind that in each district, there will be three winners for City Council, and so you should try to identify at least that many candidates you'll blacken the circles for (plus mayor, of course). And try to weed out the ones you don't want anywhere near the levers of power.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for: The complete list of certified candidates, in alpha-freakin-betical order for each race. I recognize about a dozen names, but there are 100 or so about whom I must say: Who the heck are these people? 

We don't have too long to find out.

Mayor

• 1. Saadiq Ali
• 2. Shei'Meka (BeUtee) As-Salaam
• 3. James Atkinson IV
• 4. Durrell Kinsey Bey
• 5. Rene Gonzalez
• 6. Michael Hayes
• 7. Yao Jun He
• 8. Josh Leake
• 9. James Macdonald
• 10. Mingus Mapps
• 11. Sharon Nasset
• 12. Michael Necula
• 13. Alexander Landry Neely
• 14. Michael O'Callaghan
• 15. Liv (Viva) Østhus
• 16. Carmen Rubio
• 17. Martin Ward
• 18. Keith Wilson
• 19. Dustin Witherspoon

District 1

• 1. Joe Allen
• 2. Candace Avalos
• 3. Doug Clove
• 4. Jamie Dunphy
• 5. Timur Ender
• 6. Noah Ernst
• 7. Joe Furi
• 8. Terrence Hayes
• 9. David Linn
• 10. Peggy Sue Owens
• 11. Steph Routh
• 12. Deian Salazar
• 13. Michael (Mike) Sands
• 14. Thomas Shervey
• 15. Loretta Smith
• 16. Cayle Tern

District 2

• 1. James Armstrong
• 2. Reuben Berlin
• 3. Michelle DePass
• 4. Marnie Glickman
• 5. Mariah Hudson
• 6. Sameer Kanal
• 7. Debbie Kitchin
• 8. Michael (Mike) Marshall
• 9. Will Mespelt
• 10. Chris Olson
• 11. Jennifer Park
• 12. Tiffani Penson
• 13. Antonio Jamal PettyJohnBlue
• 14. Elana Pirtle-Guiney
• 15. Dan Ryan
• 16. Sam Sachs
• 17. Bob Simril
• 18. Laura Streib
• 19. Jonathan Tasini
• 20. Liz Taylor
• 21. Nat West
• 22. Nabil Zaghloul

District 3

• 1. Matthew (Matt) Anderson
• 2. Sandeep Bali 
• 3. Melodie Beirwagen
• 4. Christopher Brummer
• 5. Rex Burkholder 
• 6. Brian Conley
• 7. Jesse Cornett
• 8. Daniel DeMelo
• 9. Chris Flanary
• 10. Dan Gilk
• 11. Theo Hathaway Saner
• 12. Clifford Higgins
• 13. Patrick Hilton
• 14. Kelly Janes (KJ)
• 15. Harrison Kass
• 16. Philippe Knab
• 17. Tiffany Koyama Lane
• 18. Kenneth (Kent) R Landgraver III
• 19. Angelita Morillo
• 20. Steve Novick
• 21. David O'Connor
• 22. Ahlam K Osman
• 23. Cristal Azul Otero
• 24. Terry Parker
• 25. Heart Free Pham
• 26. Jaclyn Smith-Moore
• 27. John Sweeney
• 28. Jonathan (Jon) Walker 
• 29. Kezia Wanner
• 30. Luke Zak

District 4

• 1. Joseph (Joe) Alfone
• 2. Eli Arnold
• 3. Bob Callahan
• 4. Patrick Cashman
• 5. Olivia Clark
• 6. Raquel Coyote
• 7. Mike DiNapoli
• 8. Kelly Doyle
• 9. Brandon Farley
• 10. Lisa Freeman
• 11. John J Goldsmith
• 12. Kevin Goldsmith
• 13. Mitch Green
• 14. Chris Henry
• 15. Ben Hufford
• 16. Chad Lykins
• 17. Chloe Mason 
• 18. Tony Morse
• 19. Lee Odell
• 20. Stanley Penkin
• 21. L Christopher Regis
• 22. Moses Ross
• 23. Tony Schwartz
• 24. Sarah Silkie
• 25. Ciatta R Thompson
• 26. John Toran
• 27. Michael Trimble
• 28. Andra Vltavín
• 29. Bob Weinstein
• 30. Eric Zimmerman

I'll do my best to get after this, but as I mentioned on Friday, I'm going to need all the help I can get from you Portland readers.

That's it for now. If you want to noodle around on the official city elections bureau pages yourself, you can start here.