Virtue, at $1592 a word

Here's a howler: Multnomah County had to hire a consultant to come up with a mission statement. It cost $250,000 for the consultant, plus who knows how much in-house staff time and benefits to sit around in meetings about it.

For that chunk of change, the taxpayers got seven sentence fragments consisting of 157 words. And here's what they say:

Vision: Multnomah County is a sustainable, diverse and thriving community where all are safe, empowered and connected.

Mission: To improve the well-being of Multnomah County communities by providing accessible, high-quality, and innovative public services that create stability, enhance opportunities, and reduce disparities.

Values:

1. Accountability - Taking responsibility for delivering the services we say we will, and being transparent and communicative in what we do and how we do it.
2. Social and Environmental Justice - Remedying inequitable and unsustainable systems that harm and oppress communities.
3. Inclusively Leading with Race - Centering race, a leading indicator of inequalities and disparities, in our intersectional approach to breaking down systemic barriers created by all forms of oppression within our workplace and in our community.
4. Equity and Inclusion - Developing and using policies and practices that promote access, equity, fairness, and belonging for all.
5. Safety and Well-being - Creating an environment of psychological, physical, and emotional safety that improves quality of life.

Do you think they might be overdoing it just a wee bit with the "equity" of it all? It's basically three of the five values. "Remedying inequitable and unsustainable systems... Centering race... in our intersectional approach to breaking down systemic barriers... Developing and using policies and practices that promote access, equity, fairness, and belonging for all..." I'm not sure what most of it even means any more, other than handouts to nonprofit slackers and construction weasels. 

How about getting the drug addicts, mentally ill people, and thieves out of their tents and off the streets? I'm not sure where that one fits in, if anywhere. Maybe halfway (and half-heartedly) through no. 5.

But look on the bright side. Though they used the Oxford comma in the "Mission" and "Values," they edited it out twice from the "Vision." That saved $14,274.38.

You wish the craziness would end soon, but it isn't going to. Council Crest queen Chevy-Vega isn't even halfway through her county chair-ship, and she'll be joined by two or three new bobbleheads come January. The word salad shooters will be as busy as ever. They'll be "inclusively leading with race." Just so you know – that's what that is.