Comedy gold

I can't help but chuckle at all the noise that's being generated by the various versions of "homeless" street camping rules being kicked around like hacky-sack footbags by members of the Portland City Council this week. It's all as daffy as a clown car.

First of all, let's get real: The judges are running the show on homelessness now. We have the U.S. Supreme Court about to issue a ruling in a couple of months, and even if they give the city the green light to make some rules for the tent addicts, we'll still have the Oregon Constitution to deal with, as divined by state judges hand-picked by the likes of Killer Kate and T. Kohoutek. In this long chain of command, the City Council is way, way down.

Adding to the comedy is the fact that the entire City Council is out on its ear come January 1, to be replaced by a city manager to be named later, and a dozen new City Council members elected under the mostly insane new city charter. It will be like a book club where only two people have finished the book, and we can only imagine what a committee like that will do to whatever gets passed now. Folks like Steve Novick. Candace Avalos. Dan Ryan. Rex Burkholder. Robin Ye. Won't it be fun.

But maybe the most amusing part of the current follies is that whatever rules ultimately get passed, they'll be meaningless unless the police enforce them and the district attorney backs up the cops. And based on the last three years, I'd put the chances of both of those things happening any time soon at slim to none.

So sit back for a minute and enjoy the spectacle of Gonzalez, Wheeler, Rubio, Mapps. Ya gotta admit, it's quite a show.

Meanwhile, over at Multnomah County, Chevy Vega's head homelessness warrior has just been sent packing amid allegations that he bullies women at work. Isn't that why Sam Adams was booted out of his latest City Hall seat? And Sammy Boy may be on the county commission soon. Ha! Ha! 

But wait, kill the laugh track. Dear Lord, please no. Remember the arts tax. Remember the leaf tax. Remember the intern. Sam the Sham is not the answer. He's more like the opposite of the answer.

Oh well, try to look on the bright side. The taxes in Portland are miserable, but at least you don't need a Netflix subscription to stay entertained.