In Portland, burglary's legal now, too

The world knows that Oregon has foolishly legalized hard drugs, without waiting until it had treatment capacity for the state's many hopeless users. And anyway, most of those users don't want treatment as much as they want more drugs. The Portland dealers are doing a booming business, shooting the occasional person who gets in their way, and the addicts are keeling over left and right, three a day dead, or getting run over as they wander the roads at night. It's old news. 

But let's get on the record here that as a practical matter, burglary's been legalized in Portland as well.

The city's police show little interest in burglaries any more. They'll be the first to tell you: They're understaffed, they can't be everywhere, fill out a report on line, press 2 to be put on hold for a half hour, yada yada yada. According to a tale I heard recently from a reliable source, one shop owner had a burglar caught dead to rights, with the owner's stolen goods on him, minutes after the break-in, and a Portland cop who showed up refused to arrest the crook because he didn't have any backup officers available. 

One couple I know left the house for a short time and came back to find their safe missing. The thieves must have been casing the place. The police just shrugged. Fill out a form.

Some shop owners are shooting the burglar, because otherwise the scum will get away with robbing them blind. It's the American way, I guess. But I don't ever remember Portland being that way. It is now.

And in the unusual circumstance in which there is an arrest, there's no prosecution. Our boy wonder district attorney, Mike Schmidt (lifetime batting average .057), can't be bothered, apparently. He's too busy patting himself on the back for prosecuting bias crimes (although speaking of bias, he's no saint himself, allegedly.)

And in the unlikely event that Schmidt locks one of these career criminals up, our governor, Killer Kate, will set them free, to steal again.

The crooks are busting into businesses with blowtorches now, on a regular basis. More than 60 percent of Portland small businesses say they have been hit. Insurance companies are charging sky-high premiums if you're crazy enough to operate a store here. Some companies simply will no longer sell insurance to businesses in Portland at any price. A lot of entrepreneur types are giving up and leaving town.

And of course, this is the point in the story where the cops all get a series of bonuses. Perfect! In Portland, nothing gets rewarded like failure.

But the big question remains: Where have the park rangers been during the crime wave?