Coming attractions

The Portland fire department has produced a new video pointing out to the city's thousands of homeless campers that it's really not safe to have fires going inside, or anywhere near, their tents. You have to wonder how many of the squatters are following the firefighters on Twitter, and how many of them worry too much about their safety. But just in case, the firefighters have some pro tips.

Now, only a grouch would complain that the fire bureau shouldn't be normalizing camping on the city's streets, along its highways, and in its parks. If they save one life with their video, it will be worth it. But what I'm concerned about is what the other bureaucrats at City Hall are going to come up with to try to top the fire bureau. Titles like:

"Sunday Hot Bike Parkways"

"How to Claim Your Sewer Avoidance Credits"

"Strip That Car the Environmentally Sound Way"

"Suit Up for Your Dumpster Dive"

"Once You're on the Bus, Scream More Softly"

"Panhandling Etiquette at Sidewalk Tables"

"Safety Tips for Handling Catalytic Converters"

"Keep a Clean Machete"

You get the picture.