Attention all Portlanders!
Mayor Dud Wheeler has just extended the state of emergency through the weekend.
This is very important. It means that... The significance of it is... I know it means something... Hold on...
Here it is... By order of the police commissioner, the chardonnay at Café Nell will be served at cellar temperature beginning at happy hour today and continuing through Sunday brunch!
That is all.
UPDATE, Friday night: This emergency directive does not apply to the riesling.
That has to become his official portrait.
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