O Tannenbaum, o tear gas bomb...

Here's an urgent question for my fellow Portlandians: Will there be a "holiday" tree in Pioneer Courthouse Square this year?

What with the plague and all, we can't have people elbow to elbow, oohing and aahing at a tree-lighting ceremony, can we?

And can we risk putting up such a display with the protesters ready to tear down all symbols of white privilege? "North Pole is stolen land!" "All elves are bastards!"

That tree would probably be easier to bring down than a two-ton statue of some white guy. And it's a lot more flammable.

What if the Poor Boys show up to defend Christmas?

Maybe we should just have an online event where Ted Wheeler eats some prescription mushrooms and tells stories about mountain climbing.